The past couple days or so, I made a huge mistake. Funny, it was just the beginning of a new year and while everyone was counting their blessings I was stuck in this chasm of counting my folly instead.
I wouldn’t bother with the details or something, just know that it was enough to put me in a phase of melancholy, and while some might think melancholy as a good thing, it’s somewhat the closest gateway to depression especially when you do not realize who you are in Christ and what you carry, especially when you don’t remember that you cannot afford to be in that mood again.
Most of us or rather everyone here doesn’t know that I’m a law student, sometimes I slip into using logic and reasoning so deep that I ended up saying things I shouldn’t have, things that do not edify God or his church, things that doesn’t put His kingdom first, things that do not prove that I have been listening and learning the Word of God.
At first, I felt I wasn’t growing. I’ve heard so much from God and from men of God. I just couldn’t believe I could still say what I did and to my mom…
I was depressed, I literally almost fainted, I wasn’t eating well, I felt my eyesight dimming and I wasn’t speaking because I felt not worthy.
Then, I heard God speak to me. He said that Christ has take away guilt and shame. As the logician I was, I browsed on guilt and shame. Guilt was self examining yourself and finding out you’d acted quite unbecoming; in way you couldn’t imagine yourself doing. Shame was the feeling of inner consciousness that people now know your deepest darkest shortcomings.
And God said that was what his son Jesus died on the cross for. For anything that’ll hinder us from coming to him (God). I was once again speechless, so this what C. S. Lewis was putting across in his book, The problem of pain.
So God’s love also came for those who He knew would be depressed, he came to give us life and life more abundantly. I’d heard this scripture a lot but now I felt the scripture, and I took encouragement from it.
I made affirmations of who I was in God and prayed according, saying it till my soul heard it. I apologized to my family. I heard the Holy spirit tell me to ask my mum to pray for me and bless me again, I’m yet to do that, but I will.
Why am I writing like this?
The enemy, grows more cunning by the minute. The bible says he’s always looking for means to steal, kill and destroy. So, let who is standing take heed lest he falls.
But then, what’s the good news?!
…One with God…
Again I say, I have the holy spirit in me.
I am anointed.
I am chosen.
I love my ministry to God and to his people.
I am a child of God!
All Candour 